Life Lesson in Women

I just had a very in depth conversation with ivy about how when she hangs up she wants me to call her right back. When she runs out in a huff, she actually wants me to chase her. When she doesn’t answer her phone because she is angry, I am to keep ringing her until she decides it is ok to answer. I know that as a female myself I should be in tune with all this but I just simply don’t understand the logic behind it. (that and being jealous? I mean what is with this whole jealousy fad, it makes no sense, you act irrationally, do stu… more on that later) this thought process acclaimed me the title of weird and inhuman. But really?! I mean come on; if you want to talk it over, don’t hang up on me. If you want time to think it over, hang up. It seems logical. BUT no don’t be fooled. I have it on good information that this runs true with all females (me being the only exception it seems). So here are a basic set of rules that I have come up with;
1. If she hangs up. Call her back.
2. If she won’t pick up. Keep calling
3. If she walks off. Chase her.
4. If she walks off when she’s angry at someone else. It is still your fault and you should chase her.
An important note is that once you have called her back, or chased her she will have calmed down and be back to a semi normal state (as opposed to the slightly demonic state before hand). Then with a reuniting sweep you are a perfect partner (pat yourself on the back) and you make up…
HOWEVER.. women are not always this predictable. You may call her back, chase her or fight a million little ninja people risking your life to get to her… and she will still be pissed (often shown by the small horns protruding from her skull). But (as I was warned) if you don’t risk your pride/life against ninjas then you might as well be dead. Infact from the exact moment you don’t chase her, you are dead to her.
Think about it..
PS. Yes as a precautionary measure I okayed this blog through ivy first. Its survival instincts here.