College. University. I used to think that it was the final step of growing up. That once you hit this point you have a clear and concise view of what you’re going to be when you “grow up”, that in fact you are already well on your way to being viewed as an adult, contributing all you have to give to this global society. But now that I am here, with no idea what I really want to do, and not feeling the least bit grown up, I have a different view. Does the view of when you are grown up change as you get older? An unattainable age when in fact you should have achieved (or be well on your way to achieving) all you set out to do in life? And at what point to you finally accept that you are as up as you will ever grow?
I don’t feel any older or wiser than I did when I was 17 or from when I turned 18. I have all the necessities; I live by myself, moved across the world, am chasing my dreams. But I still feel as though I am waiting for this moment when I consider myself to be a grown up? Is there an exact point? Or a list of prerequisites? Do I need to have a mortgage or have a 9-5 job? If I want to travel does that mean I put off growing up for another year? Am I grown up when I graduate?
On the other hand however I don’t consider myself to be a child. So what am I? I appear to be in this unnamed stage of nothingness. A phase that the developmental time line skipped out on. Where do I go from here? Can I go back to being a child? Or if I can’t do that, how exactly do I complete the growing up process?
That is all.
Much love and a live stream of the triple J hottest 100
Stef xoxo

Ps. Happy Australia Day!